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  • How to Deal with Running Into Your Ex: 12 Calm Strategies

    How to Behave Around Your Girlfriend: 15 Ways to Make Her Happy

    Treat your girlfriend with respect, and always be honest and kind. Show her how much you care by checking in often and standing up for her in public. Plan dates you know she’ll like by picking events or activities she’s interested in. Have dedicated date nights, but spend time with other friends and family too—time apart is as healthy as quality time together.

    Method 1: Build a Strong and Respectful Relationship

    1. Speak to Her Kindly

    Speak to your girlfriend the way you would want to be spoken to by a close friend. Whether you’re sharing a laugh or disagreeing, mutual respect is key in a healthy relationship.

    • Always speak in a kind tone, even when upset.
    • Avoid name-calling or swearing at her, as these are signs of disrespect.

    2. Observe and Respect Her Body Language

    Nonverbal communication makes up a large part of understanding someone deeply.

    • Positive cues include smiling, eye contact, and leaning toward you.
    • If she seems uncomfortable—fidgeting, touching her neck, or looking tense—gently check in with her.

    3. Treat Her as Your Equal

    Celebrate her individuality and support her opinions, even when they differ from yours.

    • Accept differences in political views, tastes, or hobbies.
    • If your core values clash, reassess whether the relationship is a good fit.

    4. Be Honest

    Honesty is essential in any strong relationship.

    • Be truthful from the beginning; lies are stressful and can ruin trust.
    • If you’ve lied, admit it yourself instead of letting her find out from others.

    5. Apologize If You Upset Her

    Sincere apologies go a long way in maintaining respect.

    • Apologize as soon as you realize you’re wrong.
    • Speak from the heart and avoid insincere or forced apologies.

    Method 2: Show Her You Care Daily

    1. Let Her Know You’re Thinking About Her

    Small gestures can mean a lot.

    • Send a thoughtful message or recall a funny memory.
    • Compliment her, even randomly, to brighten her day.

    2. Use Your Manners and Be Courteous

    Kindness and traditional gestures can still go a long way, depending on her preferences.

    • Open doors, offer to pay the bill, and introduce her proudly to friends.
    • Always ask what she’s comfortable with when it comes to chivalry.

    3. Make Her Feel Special

    Let her know she’s the one who matters most.

    • Make eye contact across the room and smile at her.
    • Spoil her occasionally and thank her for the little things.

    4. Get to Know Her Friends

    Her friends and family are part of her life—showing interest in them shows you care.

    • Ask questions and be genuinely interested in how they know her.
    • Be respectful and complimentary when around them.

    5. Surprise Her

    Unexpected gestures keep romance alive.

    • Leave her a note or send a card for no reason.
    • Plan a surprise date or send her flowers just because.

    6. Be Affectionate

    Physical touch can express feelings words can’t.

    • Hold hands, kiss her on the cheek, or wrap your arm around her in the cold.
    • Make sure she’s comfortable with public affection before showing it.

    7. Stand Up for Her

    Be her support system.

    • Defend her in tough situations, even if you address mistakes later.
    • Offer a listening ear and validate her feelings when she’s upset.

    Method 3: Spend Quality Time Together

    1. Plan a Date She’ll Love

    Show you’ve been paying attention by planning activities she enjoys.

    • Take her to a concert, cooking class, brewery tour, or themed night at home.
    • Tailor the date to her interests for extra thoughtfulness.

    2. Try a New Activity Together

    New experiences create lasting memories.

    • Choose something adventurous or creative, like bouldering, cooking, or visiting an art show.
    • Don’t be afraid to look silly—it shows confidence and effort.

    3. Spend Time Alone and With Others

    Balance couple time with social interactions.

    • Have a weekly dedicated date night.
    • Plan group outings, double dates, or host a party together to maintain social bonds.
    • Encourage her independence and friendships as well.

    Bonus Tips to Deepen Your Relationship

    Explore more expert advice to elevate your relationship:

    • Become a Better Lover
    • Spice Things Up in the Bedroom
    • Make Love Last
    • 11 Ways to Make a Woman Feel Loved and Secure
    • Be a Better Boyfriend
    • How to Become a More Romantic Man

    By practicing these habits consistently, you’ll strengthen your bond and make your girlfriend feel valued, respected, and truly loved.

    1. You’ll Feel More Assured if You Look Good

    This is particularly crucial if you’ve been moping for a few days, which is a common reaction to a breakup. Take a shower, put on your favorite shirt or shoes, and make every effort to look presentable before you leave the house. If you happen to run into your ex again, you won’t feel ashamed or embarrassed.

    Making a change or trying something new to update your appearance after a breakup can feel good. For instance, you might purchase a trendy fit that you wouldn’t typically risk, get your hair dyed, or get a haircut. A little makeover can boost your self-esteem and encourage you to work harder before you go out.

    Simply follow your regular schedule and visit the locations you typically visit when you’re out. Just because you’re afraid of bumping into your ex doesn’t mean you should change things.

    2. Remember That They Most Likely Share Your Feelings

    No one, including your ex, wants to unexpectedly run into someone they’ve broken up with. When you’re caught off guard, remembering this can help you relax a bit, especially if you’re experiencing a wave of emotions upon seeing them again.

    It’s also important to remember that you can just turn around and leave if you don’t want to engage with them again. It’s advisable to wait for them to calm down before attempting to get in touch with them again, even if you believe you want to reunite.

    If necessary, go somewhere and take deep breaths to help you relax. You can feel more in control and reduce your emotions by concentrating on your breathing. Even if you’re likely to see them frequently—like at work or school—don’t force yourself to interact before you’re ready.

    3. As You Work to Restore Your Self-Esteem, Project Confidence

    Your self-esteem may suffer after a breakup. In the weeks following, focus on taking care of yourself and regaining your confidence and strength. Strong body language and proper posture can boost your confidence—even if you run into your ex.

    Avoid body language that conveys intimidation, such as lowering your head or avoiding eye contact. However, don’t strike a “boss pose” just to appear confident. If it doesn’t come naturally, it may come off as forced.

    4. Treat Your Ex Like Any Other Distant Acquaintance

    This can be a painful adjustment, but it’s a healthy one. If they look in your direction, smile and wave slightly. Let them know it’s okay to see them.

    Be aware that this may happen often, especially if you share neighborhoods or routines. If things ended messily, don’t linger. Say hello, be courteous, and go about your day. You can still be polite and civil, even if you’re trying to move on.

    5. Avoid Talking About the Past and Mention That You’re Keeping Busy

    Bring up something they’d be interested in, share a quick update about your recent activities, or mention a new project. Don’t rehash the relationship or any problems—it’s not the time for that. Keep the conversation light and drama-free.

    If things ended poorly, it’s okay to simply nod and go about your day. Avoid asking if they’ve been thinking about you—it can seem desperate. Pretend they’re just someone you used to know.

    6. If You’re Pretending, Your Ex Will Be Able to Tell

    You might feel tempted to act like you’re totally fine, but your ex will likely notice if it’s not genuine. That may make it seem like you’re struggling more than you actually are.

    It’s okay not to have it all together. If they ask how you’re doing, neutral responses like “hanging in there” or “taking it one day at a time” are enough. There’s no need to sugarcoat things or pretend you’ve moved on overnight.

    Avoid being overly kind or unnecessarily cold. You’re no longer in each other’s lives, so there’s no need for more arguments.

    7. Extended Conversations May Elicit an Emotional Reaction

    If you’re trying to normalize seeing your ex, a quick, polite exchange is fine. Say hello, remark that it’s nice to see them, then excuse yourself and leave. You might say, “It’s great to see you, but I’m actually rushing to meet a friend. See you later.”

    If your breakup was unpleasant, it’s best not to talk at all. If things ended on a friendly note, brief and courteous is the way to go. Avoid asking too many personal questions, like whether they’re dating someone new, unless you’re both comfortable.

    8. Remind Your Friends That They Are Not Required to Take Sides

    You don’t have to divide your mutual friends after a breakup—it’s unfair and awkward for everyone involved. That said, you’ll probably still run into each other at events or gatherings. Just try to avoid your ex and be civil.

    Don’t talk badly about your ex to mutual friends—it’ll likely get back to them and create more discomfort. It’s also normal to feel a little sad seeing your ex with shared friends. Let yourself feel it, then move on and enjoy the event.

    9. If Your Ex Will Be Present, Allow Your Friends to Act as a Buffer

    If you live in a small town or have overlapping friend groups, running into your ex is inevitable. If things start feeling tense or awkward, stay close to a trusted friend who can help you steer clear of any uncomfortable moments.

    Being in a larger group can also make it less likely that your ex will approach you.

    10. It Can Be Awkward to Flaunt a New Relationship

    If you run into your ex while on a date or with a new partner, try not to overdo it. There’s no need to flaunt your new relationship. Offer a brief and cordial introduction if necessary, then move on.

    If there’s a good chance you’ll see your ex, and you’re still on speaking terms, you might even want to give them a heads-up. If the roles are reversed, keep calm and courteous.

    11. Before Pursuing Friendship, Give Yourself Some Time to Move On

    Even if your breakup was peaceful, moving on takes time. Experts recommend not contacting your ex for at least six months before attempting to be friends.

    Use that time to reflect on whether you genuinely want to be friends or if you’re subconsciously hoping to reconcile. Give yourself space to fully accept that the romantic part of the relationship is over.

    If your ex continues to act unpredictably, it might be a sign that it’s time to cut ties for good.

    12. Choose the Words and Actions You Feel Comfortable Using with Your Ex

    If you want to rebuild a relationship or explore friendship, take time to talk through what went wrong. Set boundaries on how you both want things to progress.

    Understand that boundaries can evolve. You might say yes to something in the moment—like dinner with your ex—then realize you’re not ready. It’s okay to excuse yourself and leave politely.

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  • How to Act When You’re Around Someone You Don’t Like

    Method 1: Stay Calm and Objective

    Step 1: Consider What You Don’t Like

    Start by identifying why you dislike this person. Ask yourself:

    • “What do I dislike about this person?”
    • “Why do those traits or behaviors bother me?”

    Determine if these traits actually impact your life. For example, does a coworker’s arrogance directly affect your job, or is it simply a personality quirk that irritates you?

    Avoid focusing on characteristics that don’t directly affect you. Remind yourself, “This person’s actions do not affect me, and it is not worth my time to focus on them negatively.”

    Step 2: Breathe

    Use deep breathing to refocus and calm your mind:

    • Inhale slowly for three counts
    • Hold for two counts
    • Exhale for three counts

    Repeat this as needed to center yourself and let go of irritation.

    Step 3: Unplug

    Minimize unnecessary interactions, especially when you’re upset. Don’t respond to messages immediately if you’re agitated. Respond later when you’re calm and composed.

    If a response is required, be courteous and professional. For example:
    “I’m sorry it took me so long to respond.”

    Reducing contact is often effective—63% of readers recommend spending less time with someone they find difficult.

    Step 4: Remain Impartial

    Resist the urge to dwell on or gather more reasons to dislike the person. Allow yourself to stay neutral and avoid building a grudge. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them take over your mindset.

    Step 5: Address the Issue if Needed

    If the dislike stems from a specific incident, consider resolving it directly:

    • Use calm and factual language: “It was hurtful when you asked me to leave because I was excited about this activity, as well.”
    • Let them express their side
    • Seek a mutual resolution, whether it’s remaining civil or simply agreeing not to criticize each other.

    Method 2: Be Respectful and Inclusive

    Step 1: Acknowledge the Person

    Being polite doesn’t mean being fake—it shows self-control. Say hello, offer a kind word, and move on.

    If needed, say:
    “I’m afraid I don’t have time to talk right now, but I hope you have a wonderful day.”

    Never ignore essential communications, especially in professional or academic settings.

    Step 2: Show Inclusivity

    In group settings, include the person even if you don’t like them. For example:

    • Ask if they need anything during a lunch run
    • Don’t exclude them from group projects or work events

    You don’t have to invite them to private gatherings, but avoid alienating them in larger, inclusive environments.

    Step 3: Prevent Rumors

    Avoid gossip and negative talk behind their back. If you need to vent, speak to a neutral third party who is not involved. Avoid dragging others into personal conflicts.

    If the issue is serious, consider speaking to someone in authority rather than engaging in rumors.

    Step 4: Offer Assistance

    Sometimes annoyance comes from repeated requests. Offer help proactively:

    • Schedule a time to teach them something
    • Point them toward useful resources

    This can minimize future frustrations and improve the situation.

    Step 5: Keep a Smile on Your Face

    If you must interact, be brief and polite. A simple smile and greeting go a long way. For example:

    • “It was nice to see you,” followed by walking away

    In shared tasks, assign roles to keep distance—such as having them work the crowd while you stay behind the table.

    Method 3: Maintain Healthy Boundaries

    Step 1: Excuse Yourself Politely

    If the conversation is unnecessary, you can withdraw. Say something like:
    “It was nice to catch up, but I have to excuse myself.”

    You don’t owe personal explanations. If they ask something too personal, say:
    “I’m not comfortable talking about that right now.”

    Step 2: Don’t Lie

    Avoid making up excuses. Instead, be honest yet polite.
    If asked to hang out, say: “I don’t feel like hanging out tonight,” instead of pretending you’re busy.

    Step 3: Avoid Making False Promises

    Statements like “Maybe next time” can be misleading if you don’t mean them. Instead, simply say:
    “I don’t think I can tonight.”

    Be brief and honest to avoid creating false expectations.

    Method 4: Protect Yourself if Necessary

    Step 1: Notify a Higher Authority

    If the person is being aggressive, harmful, or disrespectful, don’t hesitate to report the behavior:

    • Speak to a supervisor, teacher, or even law enforcement if necessary
    • Stick to facts and clearly describe what occurred

    Ask to be reassigned or distanced if ongoing contact puts you at risk.

    Step 2: Remind Yourself of Your Worth

    If the person mocks or devalues you, remember their words reflect their issues—not your value. Write down 3–5 things you like about yourself and why they matter.

    Seek professional help if they’re targeting sensitive areas in your life.

    Step 3: Refuse

    You have the right to say no. Be direct:
    “I don’t want to talk to you and I don’t think you are a positive force in my life.”

    It may feel difficult, especially if the person is in a position of power, but your boundaries and well-being come first.

    By applying these strategies, you can maintain your composure, protect your peace, and navigate difficult social situations with dignity and strength.

  • How to Respond When You Feel Different From Someone Who Likes You

    Try to Engage with Them Only in Group Settings

    To avoid giving someone the wrong impression when you don’t share their feelings, limit one-on-one interactions. Stick to group settings where there’s a social buffer. If you must interact, keep it brief, formal, and polite. If they persist, consider having a calm, private conversation about your feelings and ask for some space.

    Step 1: Don’t Spend Too Much Time with Them One-on-One

    The more time you spend alone with someone, the more likely emotions can develop. Politely avoid one-on-one situations and keep them brief. Use neutral excuses like, “I’m sorry, but I have to be somewhere,” instead of “See you later.”

    When around them, try to be with others as much as possible to prevent creating emotional intimacy.

    Step 2: Communicate Clearly and Succinctly

    Avoid giving mixed signals through overly enthusiastic replies to texts or calls. While you don’t need to ignore them completely, keep your responses brief and relevant, especially if the messages aren’t related to work or school.

    For example, if they ask, “What’s up?” you might respond, “Sorry, I’m a bit busy right now, see you at work tomorrow!”

    Step 3: Remain Courteous and Friendly to Prevent Conflict

    You don’t need to be rude to keep your distance. Stay respectful and polite. Clinical psychologist Jennifer Guttman recommends mirroring part of what they said to show you’re listening without becoming too emotionally involved.

    For instance, if they say hello, respond with a friendly but neutral greeting. Avoid negative body language like eye-rolling or turning away.

    Step 4: Steer Clear of Flirtatious Remarks or Touches

    Sometimes, it’s tempting to flirt back even when the feelings aren’t mutual. Avoid this. Keep interactions friendly, professional, and free from inside jokes, nicknames, or personal compliments. Compliments, if any, should remain focused on professional or situational topics.

    Step 5: Take Deep Breaths to Control Your Emotions

    It can be emotionally taxing to navigate these dynamics. You might feel guilt, discomfort, or anxiety. Deep breathing helps keep you grounded. If overwhelmed, excuse yourself by saying, “I’m not feeling well, I need some time to myself.”

    Step 6: Seek Assistance from Friends

    Trusted friends can be a huge help. Ask them to support you by creating a distraction, pulling you away, or joining the conversation when this person approaches. If alone, text a friend to call you and give you an out.

    Step 7: If You Don’t Dislike Them, Give Them Temporary Space

    You might not dislike them personally but still not return their romantic interest. In such cases, avoid initiating contact and limit how often you interact. Their feelings might fade over time if you reduce your presence.

    Step 8: Don’t Engage with Them on Social Media

    If you’re not connected on social media, consider setting your accounts to private to protect your privacy. If you already follow each other, quietly reduce your engagement. Don’t comment, like, or react to their posts to avoid sending mixed messages.

    Method 2: Have a Private Conversation About Your Feelings

    Step 1: Take Them Aside for a Private Conversation

    Some people need direct communication. If your actions haven’t made your feelings clear, talk to them privately. You might say, “I feel like—you can correct me if I’m wrong—you might have feelings for me. I’m flattered, but I’m not interested in that way.”

    Be honest but kind to avoid unnecessary hurt.

    Step 2: Be Honest but Sensitive

    Avoid sugarcoating or making excuses that give false hope. Be clear but gentle. For instance, “I’m sorry, I just don’t like you that way, and it wouldn’t be fair to either of us to continue this.”

    Don’t pretend you’re in a relationship to avoid the conversation—own your truth. Everyone faces rejection sometimes; it’s part of life.

    Step 3: Use “I” Statements

    Focus on your feelings rather than blaming them. This softens the message and makes them less likely to feel attacked. Say, “I just don’t have romantic feelings for you,” instead of “You’re too different from me.”

    Step 4: Take Responsibility If You Sent Mixed Signals

    If your past behavior may have led them on—like flirting or giving gifts—acknowledge it and apologize. For example: “I think I may have given the wrong impression, and I’m sorry for that.”

    Step 5: Offer to Be Friends (If Appropriate)

    If you still value them as a person, offer a platonic friendship: “I’d love to be friends, even though I’m not looking for a relationship.” But respect their decision if they’re not ready or willing.

    Method 3: Set and Maintain Personal Boundaries

    Step 1: Don’t Respond to Messages at All Hours

    Set boundaries around when and how you’ll respond. Avoid answering late-night or drunk messages. Let some calls go to voicemail. These limits help maintain emotional distance.

    Step 2: Stick to Your Decision

    Don’t give in to guilt or pressure. Changing your mind out of sympathy only causes more confusion and pain. If they try to convince you, reaffirm your stance kindly but firmly.

    Step 3: Remind Yourself That You Have the Right to Set Boundaries

    Feeling guilty is normal, but it doesn’t mean you’re wrong. Your emotional well-being matters too. Consider how you’d feel if someone spent time with you out of pity—it wouldn’t feel good.

    Step 4: Stay Cordial and Friendly (If They’re Respectful)

    Avoidance might make things worse. A simple “hello” or polite small talk can defuse tension. You don’t need to engage deeply—just acknowledge them briefly and move on.

    Step 5: Don’t Speak Badly About Them

    Even if they’ve been pushy or frustrating, venting to others can backfire. Remain respectful in public. Others may have a different opinion of the person, and gossip can create drama.

    By setting clear boundaries, maintaining respectful communication, and being honest about your feelings, you can navigate this situation with compassion—for both yourself and the other person.

  • How to Behave Around Men

    Part 1: Making a Great First Impression

    Step 1: Look for Areas of Agreement

    Finding common ground is a great way to kickstart a conversation. It doesn’t need to be deep—shared interests like a TV show or a favorite sports team can do the trick. You can often find clues about a guy’s interests from his clothing, binders, or notebooks. Use these as conversation starters.

    You don’t have to force this immediately. Just let the conversation flow for a few minutes, and you’ll likely find something in common. If you’re shy about starting a conversation, consider checking out his social media to see what he’s into. Once you find mutual interests, like hiking, suggest doing something together that aligns with them.

    Step 2: Be Authentic

    “Be yourself” may sound like a cliché, but it’s powerful. Don’t mold yourself into someone you think guys will like—authenticity is far more attractive. If you’re shy, take your time opening up. Avoid copying someone else’s style or personality; instead, let your true self come through slowly and naturally.

    Step 3: Put on Comfortable Clothing

    Wear whatever makes you feel good. Whether it’s babydoll dresses, jeans and t-shirts, or leather pants, the key is comfort and confidence. Don’t feel pressured to wear revealing clothes just to attract attention. Your confidence in your outfit is what will stand out the most.

    Step 4: Be Amiable to Everyone

    Kindness is attractive. Don’t just be nice to certain people; treat everyone with friendliness unless given a reason not to. Smile, ask questions, and show genuine interest. Even if you’re reserved, make small efforts like waving or saying hello.

    Step 5: Take a Genuine Interest in Them

    To enjoy spending time with men—romantically or platonically—show that you genuinely care. Ask questions, maintain eye contact, give compliments, and avoid being glued to your phone. Let them know they matter through your actions and attention.

    Step 6: Show Them How Confident You Are

    Confidence is compelling. You don’t have to be loud or flashy—just accept yourself, speak kindly to others, and carry a positive outlook. Avoid negative self-talk and instead highlight your strengths. True self-love takes time, but every step toward self-acceptance makes a difference.

    Part 2: Enjoying Conversations With Men

    Step 1: Discuss Topics That Truly Pique Your Interest

    Don’t pretend to like something just to impress a guy. Talk about your real interests—TV shows, hobbies, books, or music. Passion is attractive. Focus on balanced conversations; don’t dominate the dialogue.

    Step 2: Recognize When to Shift the Topic

    Pay attention to signs of disinterest. If he seems distracted or restless, consider changing the subject. Use his body language and expressions to guide the conversation. If he’s engaged, he’ll face you and make eye contact.

    Step 3: Give Them Praise

    Complimenting a guy in a genuine and light-hearted way shows you care. Praise a new shirt, a good play in a game, or a unique trait like his laugh. Compliments don’t always have to be romantic—they can just be kind.

    Step 4: Pose Inquiries

    Asking thoughtful questions shows you’re interested. Learn about his favorite bands, hobbies, movies, or even his pets. Ask questions during the conversation but avoid turning it into an interrogation.

    Step 5: Don’t Be Afraid to Make Fun of Yourself

    Being able to laugh at yourself is charming. It shows confidence and a laid-back attitude. Use light-hearted humor like, “I wonder how many more pink sweaters I can wear.” Avoid harsh self-deprecation, and never use humor to fish for compliments.

    Part 3: Be Yourself—Without Apologies

    Step 1: Don’t Pretend to Be a Girly Girl if You’re Not One

    Be true to your style and personality. If you’re a tomboy, own it. If you love dressing up, go for it. There’s no need to change your nature for anyone’s approval. Authenticity will always stand out.

    Step 2: Don’t Ask Your Girlfriends to Approach Men on Your Behalf

    Confidence is key. If you like someone, approach them yourself. Whether it’s in person or via message, the important thing is that it comes from you. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, you’ll feel empowered for making the move.

    Step 3: Don’t Make Fun of Everything

    Laugh when something is genuinely funny, not to gain favor. Constant laughter can come off as disingenuous. Share your own jokes too—don’t let yourself be the audience all the time.

    Step 4: Avoid Trying to Brag

    There’s no need to highlight superficial achievements or name-drop celebrities. Focus on what genuinely matters to you. If you’re good at something, let your actions show it—others will notice.

    Step 5: Avoid Making Fun of Other Girls

    Criticizing others doesn’t make you look better—it signals insecurity. Men (and people in general) appreciate those who are kind, not gossipy. Complimenting others—even when they’re not around—shows self-confidence and maturity.

    By staying true to yourself, treating others kindly, and showing genuine interest, you’ll create authentic, enjoyable connections with men—without sacrificing who you are.

  • How to Act Around Girls

    Method 1: Being Yourself

    Step 1: Be Yourself

    As much as you might want to gain a girl’s approval, changing your personality isn’t the right approach. Even if it works in the short term, it’ll feel fake, and she may eventually notice. Instead, embrace your authentic self—own your thoughts and feelings. Confidence and genuineness are attractive qualities.
    Avoid being overly generous or aggressive, as this can come across as insincere. Don’t focus too much on pleasing girls. Appreciate your flaws and remember that liking yourself is what truly matters.

    Step 2: Clean Yourself Up

    Good hygiene boosts both appearance and confidence. Shower daily, wash your hair, use deodorant, and wear clean clothes. The last thing you want to worry about when talking to a girl is whether you smell bad.
    A touch of cologne can be okay—just use it sparingly so it’s not overwhelming.

    Step 3: Dress Well

    Find clothes that fit well and feel comfortable. You don’t need expensive items, just outfits that suit you and make you feel confident.
    Take fashion cues from people around you or ask store employees for advice. Focus on building a style that reflects who you are.

    Step 4: Do What You Enjoy

    While it’s fine to do things girls enjoy, don’t neglect your own interests. Pursue your hobbies—whether it’s sci-fi or sports. These passions make you more interesting and authentic.
    Don’t lose yourself in someone else. Maintain your identity.

    Step 5: Relax

    Tension can make both you and the girl feel uncomfortable. Take deep breaths and stay present in the moment. Focus on her, not your nervousness.
    Remind yourself that most people are too caught up in their own lives to judge you. Mistakes are rarely remembered by others for long.

    Step 6: Be Honest with Your Intentions

    It’s fine to start as friends, but if you have romantic feelings, don’t hide them. Be honest about your intentions, and respect her boundaries if she doesn’t feel the same way.
    Likewise, don’t lead her on if you only want friendship. Clear communication builds trust and respect.

    Method 2: Talking to Girls

    Step 1: Maintain Eye Contact

    Eye contact shows confidence and interest. When talking to a girl, look her in the eyes, but don’t stare. Practicing in a mirror or with friends can help improve your comfort.
    It’s respectful, engaging, and avoids awkward moments of being caught looking elsewhere.

    Step 2: Engage Girls in Conversation

    Say hello and start simple conversations. Great icebreakers include commenting on a shared class or asking for her opinion.
    Keep practicing to build confidence and work up to deeper conversations.

    What’s the best way to start a conversation?

    • Asking open-ended questions
    • Giving sincere compliments
    • Using humor
    • Finding common interests

    Step 3: Listen Actively

    Put your phone away and give her your full attention. Don’t interrupt. Nod, respond thoughtfully, and paraphrase her points to show you’re listening.
    Always be respectful and nonjudgmental, even if you disagree.

    Step 4: Show Genuine Interest

    Ask about her interests and dreams. This shows confidence and helps her feel more comfortable. Plus, it takes pressure off you—just listen and ask questions.
    If she mentions a hobby you’re unfamiliar with, ask for recommendations instead of pretending to know.

    Step 5: Be Attentive to Her Feelings

    If she shares something personal, listen empathetically. Don’t judge or ridicule. Offer encouragement and support her goals.
    Simple phrases like “That test was tough—you did your best” go a long way.

    Step 6: Make Her Laugh

    Humor helps build comfort and connection. Share funny memories or make witty observations, but don’t force it. Avoid inappropriate or crude jokes, especially early on.
    As you get to know her, your shared sense of humor will grow naturally.

    Method 3: Showing Respect

    Step 1: Respect Personal Space

    When meeting someone new, a handshake is enough. Avoid crowding, touching inappropriately, or making her uncomfortable.
    If you’re building a relationship, start with light contact and increase it naturally. Always watch for her comfort level and back off if needed.

    Step 2: Display Good Manners

    Use polite behavior—say please and thank you, hold doors open, and avoid swearing or rude jokes.
    Respect is always attractive.

    Step 3: Treat Everyone the Same

    Show kindness and respect to everyone, regardless of gender or identity. This demonstrates maturity and authenticity.
    Even during conflict, control your emotions and take the high road.

    Step 4: Don’t Talk Behind Others’ Backs

    Gossiping makes you look untrustworthy. Avoid spreading rumors or speaking negatively, especially about girls.
    Keeping private matters private builds a good reputation and earns respect.

    Advice from Experts

    Rebecca Tenzer, Clinical Therapist
    Most people feel awkward talking to someone they like. You’re still learning about yourself, and that’s okay. Practice online or make small talk in person. Smile, be pleasant, and keep trying—it gets easier with time.

    Imad Jbara, Dating Coach
    Intentions can make you nervous and obvious. Try approaching girls like anyone else—just be friendly. Use your environment to start conversations, like asking about a book she’s reading. Let things flow naturally from there.

    Final Thought

    You don’t have to be perfect to connect with girls—just be respectful, authentic, and open to learning. Keep practicing, and over time, it’ll feel more natural.

  • Expert-Backed Tips for Adapting Your Communication Style

    Use Appropriate Language and Behaviors

    • Mirror the body language of the person you’re talking to.
    • Express your thoughts clearly and concisely.
    • Listen actively when others are speaking.
    • Summarize what you heard and ask for clarification.

    Step 1: Prepare for Important Meetings or Conversations

    Business etiquette consultant Carolyn Powery emphasizes the power of first impressions. According to her, “people form judgments within 7 seconds, even before you speak.” Your posture, professional attire, and approachability—such as smiling and using open body language—play vital roles in shaping that impression.

    To be well-prepared:

    • Research topics you’re unfamiliar with.
    • Take notes on key points.
    • If it’s a high-stakes conversation, consider doing a practice run with a friend.

    Developmental psychologist Leslie Bosch adds that practice is key. “It helps you figure out exactly what you want to say and why it’s important. Practice also makes it possible to achieve higher levels of performance.”

    Step 2: Speak Clearly and Concisely

    Tailor your message to the recipient based on their communication preferences. If you don’t know their preferences, ask others who might. Consider the following:

    • Some prefer big-picture over detailed breakdowns.
    • Some are more direct, others prefer a softer approach.
    • Some are people-focused, while others are more task-oriented.

    Step 3: Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues

    Body language speaks volumes—often louder than words. Even unconscious gestures can reveal thoughts and feelings.

    For example:

    • A person with crossed arms and a stiff posture might not be as receptive as their words suggest.

    Carolyn Powery shares a networking event experience where approaching a closed group caused them to disperse. This reinforced the importance of reading body language to understand social openness.

    Step 4: Clarify Your Understanding of What Was Said

    Active listening involves paraphrasing the speaker’s words to confirm your understanding.

    Certified executive coach Jessica Elliot says, “Active listening and great question asking… are vital for workplace synergy.”

    Her advice:

    • Listen 70% of the time and speak 30%.

    Psychotherapist Kelli Miller agrees, noting that most people don’t realize they talk more than they listen.

    Certified life coach Nora Oliver suggests asking follow-up questions to gain clarity and discover deeper insights.

    Step 5: Be Open to Feedback from Others

    Especially in professional settings, demonstrating that you value others’ input builds respect and trust.

    Powery explains:

    • “To command respect, you need to show that you value what others have to say.”
    • “Respect is earned when people feel heard and valued.”

    Professional certified coach Alyson Garrido recommends using the KISS model:

    • Keep
    • Improve
    • Start
    • Stop

    This helps generate actionable feedback rather than vague compliments.

    Step 1: Empathize with Anyone Speaking to You

    Sometimes, people just need to vent. Validate their feelings by showing understanding.

    You might say:

    • “It’s totally understandable that you’d be upset—I would be too!”
    • “Anyone would have been upset about that.”

    Such comments show empathy and help the person feel heard.

    Step 2: Speak Clearly in a Calm, Measured Tone

    In emotionally charged moments:

    • Use simple, direct language.
    • Repeat calming phrases to reassure the other person.

    For example:

    • “It’s okay to be upset. Anyone would be upset in your shoes.”

    Step 3: Focus on Solutions to Urgent Problems

    When possible:

    • Act on simple solutions right away.
    • Shift focus to what needs to happen next.
    • In emergencies, ensure safety first, then resolve other issues.

    Step 4: Be Patient with People Who Are Panicking

    If someone is overwhelmed:

    • Bring them to a safe, quiet place.
    • Be present without pressuring them.
    • If they can communicate, ask how you can help.

    In emergencies, channel adrenaline into constructive action.

    Step 1: Choose an Appropriate Time to Have Your Discussion

    Plan for a time when both of you are relaxed and undistracted.

    Relationship coach Candice Mostisser notes, “The hardest first step is really to admit to yourself that maybe there’s something you need to talk about.”

    Step 2: Express Your Feelings Honestly and Openly

    Professional life coach Amber Rosenberg advises transparency, especially for difficult conversations.

    “Avoiding interpersonal conflict is tempting, but addressing it head-on strengthens relationships,” she says.

    Step 3: Use “I” Statements to Keep the Focus on Your Feelings

    Avoid blame by expressing how you feel.

    Kelli Miller advises:

    • Say “I feel this way when…” instead of “You always…”

    Candice Mostisser adds:

    • “Communicate your issue, how it affects you, and propose a solution. Then ask for your partner’s input to resolve it together.”

    Step 4: Listen to the Other Person and Validate Their Feelings

    “There’s a huge difference between hearing and listening,” says Miller.

    Reflective listening helps:

    • Restate what the other person says to ensure understanding.
    • Reinforces empathy and minimizes misinterpretation.

    Mostisser suggests maintaining a physical connection—like holding hands—to reinforce the partnership during tough talks.

    Step 5: Take Time-Outs to Regulate Your Emotions

    Psychotherapist Lauren Urban says we often act on difficult feelings immediately without reflection.

    She recommends:

    • Take a breath.
    • Center yourself before reacting.

    Clinical psychologist Liana Georgoulis agrees:

    • Avoid communicating when overwhelmed.
    • Emotional flooding (heart rate above 90–95 BPM) impairs communication.

    Both parties need to be calm and willing to listen.

    Step 1: Start Out with Relatively Formal Speech When Talking to Strangers

    When in doubt, choose a more formal tone. Context matters:

    • Formality is suitable in professional settings.
    • It’s unnecessary at casual events like concerts or informal dining.

    Step 2: Make an Effort to Get to Know the Person Through Small Talk

    Small talk:

    • Helps you understand the person’s tone and mannerisms.
    • Builds familiarity.
    • Lays a foundation for more meaningful communication.

    Step 3: Watch and Mirror the Person’s Body Language

    Mirroring:

    • Builds trust and ease.
    • Involves subtle gestures like posture or crossed legs.

    Also, pick up on words or phrases they use often—it creates a sense of familiarity.

    Step 4: Adjust Your Style of Speech Based on the Person’s Response

    Gauge their tone and body language:

    • If formal, stay formal.
    • If casual, feel free to loosen up.

    People usually relax during conversation. You can match their tone as they do.

    Step 1: Appreciate Cultural Differences

    Cross-cultural communication has more room for misunderstanding. Avoid assumptions.

    Psychotherapist Lauren Urban advises:

    • Pause and consider other interpretations before reacting emotionally.

    Step 2: Avoid Sensitive Subjects

    Every culture has different taboos. Generally avoid:

    • Politics
    • Religion

    Match your tone to the conversation’s mood. Avoid jarring topic changes.

    Step 3: Speak Directly Using Simple Language

    Simple language is:

    • Easier to understand
    • Less open to misinterpretation

    Example:

    • Instead of “I expect confirmation by the close of business on Friday,” say “I need to know by Friday afternoon.”

    Step 4: Ask Questions If You Don’t Understand Something

    Candice Mostisser recommends asking follow-up questions to deepen the conversation.

    This:

    • Keeps you engaged
    • Helps you understand the other person’s perspective better

    Understanding Different Communication Styles

    Direct

    Focuses on facts and results.

    • Best approach: Be brief, factual, and avoid unnecessary details.

    Analytical

    Prefers detailed, data-driven communication.

    • Best approach: Offer step-by-step guides, detailed explanations, and tracking tools.

    Collaborative

    People-focused, values group growth over end results.

    • Best approach: Listen actively and ensure inclusivity.

    Expressive

    Emotionally driven, values relationships over tasks.

    • Best approach: Keep it casual, personal, and share your own feelings.

    Better Communication Leads to Stronger Relationships

    Effective communication builds:

    • Trust
    • Understanding
    • Mutual respect

    It’s a skill you can learn and improve. Start with active listening—once you really listen, it becomes easier to adapt your speech and connect with others more meaningfully.

  • Active Listening Techniques: Advice & Examples

    Give Your Undivided Attention

    To demonstrate respect, give the other person your full attention. Turn off the TV, put your phone away, and avoid scanning the room before beginning a conversation. Set aside anything you’re working on to prevent distraction or loss of focus. If you’re in a noisy space, try to find a quieter spot to minimize background noise.

    This also includes mental distractions, such as daydreaming or becoming fixated on the speaker’s appearance or mannerisms.

    Quick, informal conversations across a room are fine, but for longer discussions, stop what you’re doing and face the other person.

    Maintain Eye Contact

    To show you’re paying attention, look at the person speaking. It’s okay to occasionally glance away, but try to focus mainly on their face. This helps build a stronger connection and keeps you engaged.

    If you’re nervous or shy, concentrate on the area between their mouth and eyebrows. You can also practice eye contact by looking into your own eyes in a mirror.

    Keep in mind that prolonged eye contact can be taboo in some cultures. Be aware of the speaker’s cultural norms to avoid making them uncomfortable.

    Use Open and Engaged Body Language

    Crossing your arms and slouching can signal disinterest. Instead, lean slightly toward the speaker and keep your arms relaxed at your sides.

    Monitor your body language throughout the conversation and adjust your posture if you notice you’re becoming closed off. Engaged posture shows attentiveness and encourages better communication.

    Express Interest with Facial Cues

    Use facial expressions to encourage the speaker to continue. Be mindful not to show disapproval or disgust accidentally.

    Nod and smile kindly to show you’re engaged. This small amount of encouragement can make the speaker feel more comfortable and open.

    Match your expressions with the tone of the conversation—for serious or sensitive topics, avoid smiling inappropriately.

    Use Verbal Acknowledgments

    Saying things like “mmhmm” or “I understand” shows you’re actively listening. During brief pauses, use short, encouraging phrases to signal your attention without interrupting.

    Examples include:

    • “Okay.”
    • “Continue.”
    • “Oh?”
    • “So what happened?”

    These phrases reassure the speaker that you’re following along and support them to keep sharing.

    Avoid Rehearsing Your Response While Listening

    If you’re thinking about your reply while the other person is speaking, you might miss key points.

    Try not to prepare your response in advance. Instead, listen fully until they finish. This ensures you understand their feelings and ideas before reacting.

    Don’t Interrupt

    Interrupting can come off as rude or dismissive. Wait until the speaker finishes before responding.

    Even if you feel the urge to jump in, let them complete their thoughts. If they pause, give them space to gather their thoughts before continuing.

    Take a moment to process everything before formulating your reply. This demonstrates patience and respect.

    Ask Open-Ended Questions

    Encourage the speaker to elaborate by asking thoughtful, open-ended questions. This shows you’re engaged and genuinely interested in their thoughts.

    Try asking:

    • “What did you mean by that?”
    • “What other options are there?”
    • “What other explanation is there for this?”
    • “What other options have you thought of?”

    Avoid using “why” questions too often, as they can make the other person defensive. Focus more on understanding than interrogating.

    Summarize and Reflect Back

    To ensure you understand correctly, repeat what the other person has said in your own words.

    You might say:

    • “Let me see if I’m clear about this. I didn’t wash the dishes this morning, and that’s why you’re upset. Is that right?”
    • “You’re upset because I made plans this weekend without consulting you. Do I have that correct?”

    This gives the speaker a chance to correct any misunderstandings and shows that you’re making an effort to listen.

    Show Empathy

    Let the speaker know you care by expressing empathy. Acknowledge their emotions without getting defensive or questioning them.

    Even if you don’t fully agree, showing that you understand how they feel builds trust.

    For example:

    • “I absolutely understand why that situation frustrated you.”
    • “I sense that you’re upset, and that makes complete sense.”

    Don’t Always Offer Solutions

    Sometimes, people just want to be heard—not fixed. Be there to listen and validate their feelings instead of jumping to offer advice or share your own story.

    Before offering help or solutions, ask if they’re looking for support or just want to vent.

    Try saying:

    • “I understand what you’re saying. Do you want to vent, or is there anything I can do to help?”

    Stay Open to Different Perspectives

    Give the speaker a chance to fully express themselves, even if you disagree. Don’t let your personal biases block you from hearing their point of view.

    Remain open-minded and try to see the issue from their perspective. Avoid dismissing their thoughts or pushing your own opinion too quickly.

    Let go of any assumptions you may have, and enter the conversation with curiosity.

    Also, pay attention to body language—if someone seems irritated or withdrawn, there might be deeper feelings behind their words.

    By practicing these active listening techniques, you’ll be better equipped to form stronger, more respectful, and more understanding relationships in both personal and professional settings.